Monday, August 21, 2017

Grieving & Counselling! Once More Indian system shit hits the fan!

#290
There are only two things in this world that are certain. One is Death and the other is Taxes!!!

While there are good mechanism, people with capability exist to manage Taxes, I am not sure in our Indian Eco system there are good measures available to handle DEATH!

Even a strong minded, emotionally stable person like me is beginning to feel the strain of losing my father, a good 100 hours after lighting his funeral pyre.  In my case,Father's passing away was  more or less anticipated with a question of "When" rather than "IF" ever since my Urologist clearly told me he had just weeks in his account once secondaries surfaced. I cant help wonder in situations,where a dear /near ones depart a world in a more tragic situation like young age, accidents, body not traceable or murder which leads to its own trauma and mental shock what kind of solace, support, counselling, grieving exist for people to recover and lead a normal life in say weeks/ months????

This is where a system need to exist for managing stress/strain through professional counselling and offering comfort and solace. I am not sure I could have reached out to any one through a professional network and seek a remedy. More, I see the system, more I feel and proved right that asking for help is assumed as a symbol of weakness in our environment rather than seen assumed as a symbol of strength. 

I am glad that I had worked my Emotional / Spiritual / Social / Physical energy and intelligence through my western way of wiring my mind to face such eventualities.  This is now fully coming handy. I am positive that I shall overcome this situation with my way and thought process I have built in. Things will be all right in a few days. ( This blog post is an expression to seek solace, vent) Once again, this goes to prove my point of view that anything INDIAN other than Indian wife is not trustworthy dependable when push comes to shove or nothing exist to which you can reach out! 

Dad's departure also now exposes me to a new world out there which calls for different sets of rules and protocols. Restricted food items, times and types of meals a day, fasting etc, aligning to solar/lunar calendar, have now become norms to which I never bothered adhering to as long as he was around.

We are proceeding with the rituals, we have done 7 days so far. I must say time flies, tomorrow this time (735pm) would have been a week since Dad departed this world. Lalitha, Uma, Mom are doing their best to meet the needs of the departed aathma until it finds its resting place in heaven on the 11th/12th day.

Finally, I am just amazed/stunned by the phone calls, personal visits, email, whats app, Twitter, Face book on people who have expressed their condolences, support, consolation to us. Dad's departure had opened an opportunity to  build bridge with relatives in the second and third circle, which were practically defunct/ frozen for whatever reasons. I am also touched with people travelling 4-5 hours by flight/road to reach Karaikudi and spend 30 minutes with us, shows their love and affection for Dad.

Take it easy, take care, Stay Safe.
Regards

Karthik
21/8/17 1945 Hrs.

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